Often times we are caught up with master manipulators in our lives. We constantly post about choosing Us, Ourselves, Me Against the World. Anything we can tell ourselves so that we don’t face the reality of being a door mat, pushover, being manipulated and often this is by people we love. It happens in all settings, relationships, jobs, churches and friendships. We ourselves are so shocked that we are in this situation we don’t know how else to rebel but to let people know it is not how it seems. Yet in reality it is. It hurts to know that someone is hurting us by using our good nature and kind ways. It hurts to know we are giving our all to someone who doesn’t care and the minute we stop we know we will no longer have a connection to them. That hurts. So not matter how much we don’t want to admit it, the reason we are doing the things we are doing is to stay connected to that person even in just the tiniest way. They make us feel better about ourselves, they light up a room in a way we can’t. they are always involved with so many interesting things, just being around them seems so great.
Yet here is the reality. They may be a leader in their field but they learned how to lead from the wrong person. They were thrust into their position of leadership and only know how to handle it by manipulating others. They use a two faced coin, love bombs and cruelty all in the same mix. Tear you down consistently but only build you back up occasionally. Its confusing but it keeps you on the hook. They learn and use ways of narcissism that push you to your limits and you keep coming back no matter how badly the treat you. They don’t know by using loving, guiding, leadership tactics they could easily win forever loyalty with you. Instead they make you beg for their time, connection and existence which constantly puts you at odds with yourself.
Stop all connection with this person(s) no matter who it is and let your post be real for once and actually CHOOSE YOU OVER EVERYTHING.
Eleanor Marguerite Ward
Certified Life Strategies Coach
Grief Coach Specialist