I must say for me this was hard. I guess in all honesty, I felt the people would keep their own boundaries as I keep mine. I learned the hard way that this is definitely not true. People often have no boundaries of their own or simply don’t care about stepping and destroying yours. I found that setting boundaries was the hardest for me, I wanted to be helpful, I wanted to be a servant, I wanted to be someone people could turn too. First off do you have boundaries? What do you allow? How do you allow people to treat you.? Do you allow people to use your under the guise of you helping them? A guy I used to date said these words to me : You are a giver, I am a taker and I am going to take it all.:He tried his best. How are you at work? Are you the go to for people that never finish their work?
Are you the person everyone leans on at church? How are you at home? Are you exhausted using the excuse that that’s just part of being a parent? Sounds like you need boundaries in your life.
Decide what you are willing and not willing to do at work, honestly this is a no brainer, you really need to be doing your job as that is all you are paid for, yes this one is hard but let them know you cannot without additional compensation do what they are asking.
AT church only do what you can do or what you volunteered for again, if there are not enough people, speak up and you may have to leave the project or walk away. You are not a slave.
Your home life should be that comfort, fun and love. Make one full day a week all yours announce and stick to it, mines is Sunday, my mom’s was Friday. Everybody should have jobs that they can do even the little ones keeping a house is everyone’s job.
Set boundaries for your life period and walk away anytime someone oversteps or disrespects them.
Eleanor Marguerite Ward
Certified Life Strategies Coach
Grief Coach Specialist